Fun Time Minis
MOTHER GOOSEY: This assignment was to write a parody of a nursery rhyme. As you can see, we had lots of fun with this one.
Mary had a little lamb,
Some mashed potatoes, too,
And then some peas and then some ham
And oh, how Mary grew!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack gave Jill a little kiss
Cause Jill told Jack he oughter!!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Little Boy Blue, come eat your lunch,
There's bread and jam and peanut butter with crunch.
Where is the boy who always wanted to be fed?
Now he's playing Nintendo and XBox instead!
© Written by Grandma Lyn
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to visit dear old dad
Who lifted the skirts
Of every nurse
with the grin of a youthful lad!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Wee Willie Winkie woke up one night
Saw two beady eyes and got such a fright,
Screaming he ran all through the house
to wake up the cat to catch that damn mouse.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Little Miss Muffet stretched out on the sofa
devouring her favorite food
With chocolate inside her
Even the big hairy spider
just couldn't spoil her mood.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Little Miss Muffet sat in the garden
enjoying all of God's beauty
When suddenly a spider
slowly crept up beside her and gave her a coronary!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
With transparent walls you could see right through
And each time she turned on the lights inside
More of the town's men keeled over and died.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Georgie Porgie, what a guy
Teased the girls and made them cry
But when the girls formed an attack
Georgie found they got him back!
© Written by Christina
There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe
Man was she stupid!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Painting her fingernails red
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
Miss Muffet pounded him dead
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Old Mother Hubbard
is a hip old lady
With a mouthful of sparkling gold
She listens to Rap music
And refuses to ever grow old
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Little Boy Blue come blow your horn
This party is a thumpin'
The girls and boys are going wild
To your music they are bumpin'
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To do a little kissin'
Jack got fresh, Jill slapped his face
And now Jack has gone missin'
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mary had a little lamb
That loved to run and play
It ran through fields of flowers
It charged through bales of hay
Then one day the lamb ran off
And Mary cried so much
Then suddenly she felt a soft
Gentle nuzzling touch
Her lamb was back she felt such joy
She hugged his woolly hair
Then she tied him to a post
And then she left him there.
© Written by Renee
Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
Looking for a small midnight snack,
But she yelled and she cursed
'Cause the dog got there first
And she gave that darn dog quite a whack!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater,
Had a wife but couldn't keep her...
She told Pete to go to hell
And she kept herself very well!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick,
But boy oh boy, you'd better jump high,
Or you'll be Jill when morning's nigh!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
You shouldn't be so rude!
Watch Dr. Phil and take a pill
And grow a new attitude!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hey, diddle, diddle,
I'm stuck in the middle
Of trying to write Mother Goose
So please don't laugh when you see these rhymes
Or I'll stick my head in a noose!
© Written by Grandma Lyn
Little Bo Peep
Little Bo Peep lost her sheepand didn't know where to find them
Let them alone said Jus Kuntree
But Grandma Lyn done hid them
Jus Kuntree fell fast asleep
And dreamt that Bea was bleating
But when she awoke
She found a note
Which rowdy Renee had written
Then up she took her little crook
Jus Kuntree determined to find them
She found them indeed
Which made her heart bleed
Cause Stina and Selena
had turned them into sheep jerky
It happened one day
Granny Grace did say
Bea was definitely quite tasty
With spices and herbs
They made a good rub
And hung poor Bea out to dry her
She heaved a sigh
And wiped her eye
While Cheri sang a song
Little Bea, a good sheep was she
But the jerky made her better
© Written by Hippietoad
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper
and was so sorry he couldn't keep her
She nagged and nagged 'til he could take no more
So he packed his bags and headed out the door
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mary had a little lamb
But she really couldn't give a damn
If the lamb followed her again
she'd put it in the dirty pig pen
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jack and Jill went up the hill
Jack told Jill she was such a dill
So she poured water over his head
And told him she'd wed his brother instead
© Written by Lady Crystal
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jill the dill forgot the pill
and now they have a daughter.
(an old one shared by Christina)
Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary
How does your garden grow?
With lots of hard work
And digging in the dirt
It doesn't grow by itself you know.
© Written by Cheri
Hey diddle diddle the cat had some vittles
the cow sat on the moon
the dog cried to see the cow on the moon
and the dish couldn't find the spoon.
© Written by Annsea146
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
She had no pants
So Little Miss Muffet
Had to rough it
Along came a spider
Sat down beside her
Little Miss Muffet
Spilled her clam chowder
1 2 buckle my shoe
3 4 oops I fell on the floor
5 6 Can't find the sticks
7 8 I left my pants on the gate
9 10 Can't wait to do it again
© Written by Selena
Hickory dickory dock.... the mouse ran up the clock
The farmers wife.... threw the knife
And the mouse ended up in the stew stock ! EWWWW
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Peter piper pumpkin eater
Had a wife and couldn't keep her
Put her in a pumpkin shell
There forever did she smell !
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jack wasn't too nimble
Jack wasn't too quick
Cause he burned his butt
On the candle stick !!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of somethin'
Jill smashed Jack and he fell back
And landed on his bumkin.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mary had a little lamb
Her fleece was white as snow
Every where that Mary went
Lamb left poop you know !
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Twinkle Twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Satellites are in the sky
So twinkle twinkle little star
And keep my cell signal going far !
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon?
The little boy laughed til he split his pants
And the girl got the picture too soon !
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Bye baby buntin
Daddys going huntin
He thinks he'll get a rabbit skin
To wrapy little baby buntin in
ME thinks he'll come home with nuttin !
© Written by Lady Deb
